The Gin Game

Roger and I watched the movie The Gin Game last night.
I had seen the original taping of the Broadway Play staring Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy years before when we still lived at Rinker; yea that was a loooong time ago. I remember laughing at it, but didn’t remember the story other than it was about two elderly people living in a retirement home who played game after game of gin rummy. She kept beating him, and his frustration, albeit expressed mostly with swear words, was comical. That remembered, I rented it.
Funny what time and experiences do to your perception of something? There are many poignant moments in the movie, downright sad if you are my age, and have taken care of an elderly parent. Mother had many of the same conversations with other residents that she lived with at the manor, and when she was in the rehab center we both saw firsthand the things depicted in the film; odd there didn’t seem to be that much humor in them, either when they are happening, or being observed.
One thing I noticed this time that completely escaped me the first time was the utter frustration they both expressed at their circumstances. Living too long, out living their resources, neglect from family and friends, aches and pains; easily depicted on stage, but oh so different when going through them in real life.
Mother and I had many a conversation about some of the same issues raised by that movie, and watching it brought back a lot of memories for me of those talks. The remembrance of observing someone you know and love go through the things that before were only words on a piece of paper, or lines in a play, no matter how well “written”, are never fully captured. As much as we tried to find the humor or steel ourselves to the inevitability of it, it was real, and palatable, and wouldn’t be ignored.
Mother kidded a lot about "old age isn't for sissy's", and everyone living within earshot of her agreed with her; usually through a resounding "You're right about that!" Knowing and acknowledging it are one thing, accepting it is something completly different. However, Roger Closson, the director of Presbyterian Manor, has stated time and time again that the resistance to getting older is, sure enough, what keeps many people alive longer than they or anyone else expected. But he is quick to add, those who do it with bitterness, and anger, don't enjoy the ride, as much as those who can laugh at the changes and embrace the opportunities that come along with them. He then proceeds to tell a joke along those lines -he knows them all-:).
I'm not big on change, I've had about enough of it this past year, thank you very much, but I was made aware of my attitude toward it while watching that movie. It is going to be with me the rest of my days so I better decide how I am going to respond to it, or I am going to be very frustrated, and swearing when I don't win the game.